blue girl bites back

I know you’re out there. I can feel you.
After what I have found out, you’re mr. bipolar.
Your pomposity said so.
Even though, I’m still here for you.
WHatever you are right now, you are still the one I want.
But then again, is this love?
I don’t know, I’m just bored.
If someone better comes along, I know, I will swim with the waves and abandon
your useless existence in my heart.
Unless, you prove it, that it wasn’t useless.

————————————————————————-

A lover.
I can’t tell when he will land in my arms.
I admit that I think about him a lot of times.
But then i realize, I’m not ready to have one.

—————————————————————————-

One night,
doesn’t mean the rest of my life.
If I go it’s not impossible,
but possible is probably wrong.
So, let go because I’m afraid to try.
I’ll keep my hands by my side.
I won’t come back.
I hope someday you’ll understand.
I want to try and make it right,
but I don’t know if I can.
Last night,
everything was right and the rain was gone.
One summer’s night’s the only time we know.
Shut your eyes,
when you wake up I’ll be gone.

Hi every nerd.

I’m back… And still stuck on this melancholy.
I’m currently doing some graphic art work but hell I don’t understand my job. It has so many consequences and formats to follow. Life is really hard…and once again it is proven as the reality hits me.

Well atleast, I’m starting my stepping stone… As someone said, step small first.
-_-;;; err…

Well yeah, ENGLISH erROrs, Grammatical LAPSES, lack of FLUENCY
whatever, there are so many OBSTACLES that I need to overcome.
No i mean, I need to improve my english, yeah yeah….

ASIAN KUNG FU GEN <3 makes me smile. I hope you can make me smile too.

LIKES:

NERDWAVE
ASIAN KUNG FU GEN SONGS
GRAPH ARTS
RPG MAKER
TRUE FRIENDS

I’m currently listening to AKFG, their 2006 album… I’m not quite sure, it’s really FUNNY! because of Japanese- ENGLISH Accent (YEAH their whole album is in english!!). well, speaking of Englsh errors haha..

AUN! FCK! kainis haha… sana magimprove ako sa english like someone I like outhere…. -___-;;;

Well, Aun, magpapalakas muna ako, as in I need CASH…. Para yumaman and be independent and to help alot of people…. -_-;;;

Kahit nagaaral pa ako sa USTe ngaun, happy naman… sana matupad ang mga Pangarap koh …tsktsk,,, ayan di na kinaya…
sabi kong mageegslih ako eh ehhhh sheesh

Well, this is my life right now. I have a verry happy family life, the rest I dont know….

Baybye!!

Still Alone lyrics

Doing like you said
Taking deep breaths
Keeping my cool
Counting to ten
On my own again
Trying to keep my head clear
Go for walks away from here
But i know
I am still alone still alone
Like the day i was born
Born in
Brought into this world
Still alone still alone
Like the day i was born
Born in
Brought into this world
Hold onto your friends
Thats what he said
I guess that his friends are not like mine
I could write a list of people i dont miss
Im sorry but im so much better off without you
Im still alone still alone
Like the day i was born born in brought into this world
Still alone still alone
Like the day i was born born in brought into this world
Hold it all against me still dont bother
Hold it all against me another complaint
High maitnence
Complain
Oh shut up
Bahh dee bahh doa
Oh shut up
Still alone still alone
Like the day i was born born in brought into this world

its ur birthday and i wont greet you anymore.
its useless and you never wanted me or even cared for me.
im tired…? i dont know i want to be persistent somehow.
what if i call u later?

what if, i phone you later and greet you?

I hope you’ll smile…. but i dont know.

</3 i guess i’ll be forever down.

    I hope someday you’ll take away all the pain inside me and change whats written behind my eyes. even though its impossible.

———–an expression of eternal sadness that lies within my heart———————

    This is what i’m good at. I’m good at being down. But i don’t want this feeling, even though i feel at home with darkness. i dont know, maybe darkness became my best friend, and that’s why i feel at home when i’m sad.

Darkness, i dont want to see him go away. Cause i know he is my only friend.

    No, he needs to be put away. He’s not a good friend for you because all he does for you is sadness.

Everyone is going to graduate and I’m the only girl in the class that will repeat some subjects. This makes me sick. Well I know it serves me right after all the mess I’ve done. I’m to blame, well I’m not that person who’ll deny it anymore. It’s true.
I’ll embrace myself even with broken arms. I can, i can do it.

    Well my <3seems to spin an infinite loop. I’m all left out.
Like a geek staying infront of the computer all day. Practicing some lame layouts and trying hard to make innovative designs. That’s the least i can do. To make myself better and someday i hope i can stand on my own and then help others.

      I know I’m missing a lot of things. I admit it, i’m not thoughtful about others. But it seems that when i think of things, my hunch is not doing right. Well hell, i need to read a lot of things, widen my knowledge and look for a lot of informations. Yeah, information is everywhere, little things can be big, big things can be little things. Like my rotten first love keeps on sayin’.  He values "intelligence" so much since we were highschool classmates. Well enough about him. It’s hopeless and unreasonable anymore to think of him.

Well there are lot of things that can make me sad right now:

1. I’m not yet graduating
2. I think its hard to fish true friends.
3. I don’t know what will happen in my fifth year.
4. I’m not yet  a good artist because all of my artworks are unfinished… (ningas cogon ata ako)
5.  I’m envious of a lot of people
6. I think that I always loose myself and forgot about the "things i need to do"
7. It’s kinda lonely in the house
8. i have no money
9. My slr camera was not yet given back to me by my ex.
10. I have no cellphone

Well that’s all, so what should i do to make things right?

1. Think positive
2. Trust in divine providence
3. Pray
4. find a job
5. Practice, practice, practice and THINK hard. (think hard it works dont say that your brain’s a bean)
6. contact your friends on friendster
7. friends take time. Believe that what you are is what you get. Like birds of the same feather, flock together. (er? feather duster?)
8. Envy is a sin so don’t you do it. think positive
9. Just get the camera, (hope i could get it T_T) damn he’s a bitch.
10. Write everything about "the things to do" Be organized you "burara" haha.

That’s it. every problem has a solution. And Happiness is a responsibility.

                                  Goodnight and thank you for reading.

the manga imadoki (by watase yuu, a manga like hanayori dango but with lotsa moral values express using flowers! Tampopo-chan!) really catches my heart.

goddamn. im back to the anime beat, but i guess its the same as my heart beat. haha.
I want to make my own manga and be a mangaka.

I hope i can make one! kht 29 chapters lng at sa love comedy genre lng muna.

ayun. basta. ciao!– pagpapatuloy ko ang ultimate dream ko: to be a manga artist at maging great story writer

BGM: the first shop of coffee prince.

Goodnyts/ lotsa energy and happiness.

—-IM CHEERY AGAIN!

    "In a blink of an eye death steals your life."

   Goddamn these issues that I’ve been heard lately. My past mother’s relative, my beautiful auntie have a stage four cancer in sinusitis and i am really affected. My tita’s husband has a cancer in lungs too… My grandfather in my mother’s side has to undergo a kidney operation. Oh, this is so awful, what has been happening lately? And, here i go experiencing some internal back pains. Yeah, i was diagnose with U.T.I. I have taken antibiotics but i wonder if it was already cured? SHit, sometimes like hell the pain remains.

    Is this a form of karma? No, maybe a will of God? Or just plain normal to make things better. I know, pessimism is really bad, so like what i’ve learned in my thesis, let me utter, "bahala na" and go on with my life. You may expect for he worst but hope for the  best.

    The Filipino has the shining courage. I know with everything that happens in their life they can still smile. After all, sadness and lots of emo-ness, will just make things worst. Like i wonder, does the belief of pessimistic people die easily a fact? I bet it is. So here’s my plan, i’ll go on with a smile. Eat a lot of veggies, original fruit juices, green teas and go to bed early.

    Life surely has a lot of surprises. Positively or Negative, i know everything will be fine because i believe in God’s Providence.

See ya.

my dearest departure
is about to come
i can feel it, through my flesh

someday, ill be gone, without saying goodbye
My structures fall one by one
and i’ll be weaken
maybe speechless or
go suffer on a hospital bed.
I don’t know but i’ll just keep the secrets
until it burst me when God wants it
to be revealed.

save me.
if I can’t withstand this pain that comes within
a drop of my blood, of our blood.
and suddenly fell into unconsciousness.

                                 for my dear GoD.

invite me more and i’ll let you meet up your death.
i will not hesitate to take your life away.

i am the bringer of death.

I’ll let you see that i’m not that weak naive girl anymore.
I’ll break your heart
inside and out.

I wanna be your firewoman
I’ll water down your desire
    

Because i know this love is a killer
            

I wanna put out your fire

lab yah hotcake this song is for you XD