blue girl bites back

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Lord please let me sin for awhile?

____________________________________________________

i’ll take something to believe
something with long sleeves, cuz it’s unpredictable
that jesus said he’d fill my needs, but my heart still bleeds
he’s just not physical
why can’t i see
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

now we’ve established a lack of sight
maybe vision’s the right word
and what i need, cuz i can’t see with human eyes
lord knows i’ve tried to follow where he leads me

why can’t i see
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

for what i’ve seen so far, i can’t believe my eyes
and what a nice surprise
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

______________________________________________________

or no, this is a false reasoning.

Maybe its time to go back to God.

SAy goodbye to you and the lust. I need to change for my betterment.

It’s only Jesus I find, and Jesus I wish to seek.

SOrry slick, go away. I dont need you anymore.

HAPPY B-DAY TO US> I’m not comming anymore. I need to stay away from you and you luscious body. The drugs you offer and scent that makes my head spin.

I know you’ll be fine without me.

But I want you to know that I’m always missin’ you.

But I’d rather stick to God’s promise:

“BE Strong and of Good Courage;… for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Josh 1:9)

———–

I know when I trust God, everything’s will be mine. He’ll give a damn about what I want if I first give a damn about him. This is what ya call faith.

try it. I dont know if it works, but in somecases it always do!

I remember this quote i used to know:

Put GOd everything the rest—

Remember the time when you loved someone then you gave all of your love and nothing was left? If you just love God first you would have been left with a love for yourself.

——————————————–aiyt?————

I realize after everything. To speak up with substance, to speak up with content is to say the word of God.

read BIBLE men, its cooler than twilight, harry potter or even your porn magz!

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damn, i cant stay all holy. but atleast I tried.

I cant stay away from you darlin’ I need you.

Everything is useless without LOVE— i just paraphrase something from the bible.

I’m needing you with love, I’m needing you and I ‘m loving you. But you may not want it or you dont want it. It will hurt, wait let me count about 3 tears.
ANd then I dont need you, move on, move on I’m moving out!

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p.s. I still want to sin with you. But I dont want to have my heart broken. I dont want you to go away either. I can sin like you do, but my conscience eats me.

I’m, I’m done with broken hearts and I don’t want to increase the chance for me to go to hell. Hell in life and hell after life is too much ya know.

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Seal with a kiss GOODBYE! for the last time happy birthday!

———————————

one, two, three, one ready go…
you’re up with the sunrise
and down when the work’s been done
with excellence industry
diligence naturally
i would like to be you
just for a few habit-forming years
laziness cuts me like fine cutlery
i need a miracle - someone to help me
myself
sweet jesus, i need you
forgive me this sin
not hookers or heroin, gambling or gin
it sounds so ridiculous, but i just can’t lick this
i need a miracle - someone to help me
myself
someone to help me
help myself

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lyrics by PEdro the lion(search mo sa imeem ganda)

It hurts, everything of me is not enough for them. They cant see my real beauty. BUt how will my life goes? I dont really know at all. Am i trying too hard or everythings not enough? Why does I feewl that people have the different level. WHy cant i reach the same level? I’ll do what it takes, fight monsters, upgrade my weapons, use healing items and go with the party just to reach their level. But why can’t It be as easy as that? In real life inorder to reach them, I need to change my personality (introvert to a social butterfly), change my physical appearance (vicky belos?), upgrade my mind (have some wits). SO how will i do it? I dont know… Efforts, efforts again. I feel like i’m trying so hard. Damn. But yeah i know the answers to my questions. I Just can’t seem to be okay. I’m just like putting my feelings here since i dont want to disturb a lot of people with my insecurities.

I will be an optimist and pray at the same time rather than be a pessimist and pray cause it will not sound good to God.
ciao…]

HOw am I doing?

I’m rocking out someone’s heart.

No, its not yours anymore.

Its someone’s spirit, with the same geekiness like me.

We talk in the same langauge. FInally an alien like me! LOL.

We have the world of our own (westlife?) haha.

I’m taken by a young corn.

Who reigns my life.

LOVE LIKE RAIN>sweet 16>

I love you so much.

Bets down? will we last longer? LOL

—————————

No space for you.

—————————

to  mr. 25 years old programmer

just wait  see i’ll be an xna game encoder! by december i’ll rock your nose out!

TOINK HAHA>

_____________________________________

Mistakes i did, i did and i do. It looped. I hope i can cut the circle, untie the knot. distract the devil from helping me cave my way to hell.

Dear Angels

Dear Saints

I want you to pray with me, make me a better person.

I want resentment.

I want peace in my innerheart.

I dont want to commit mistakes.

I love myself.

———————————————————-

For thus says the
One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
and to revive the heart of the contrite.
For I will not contend forever,
nor will I always be angry;
for the spirit would grow faint before me,
and the breath of life that I made.
Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry,
I struck him; I hid my face and was angry,
but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart.
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;
I will lead him and restore comfort to him and his mourners,
creating the fruit of the lips.
Peace, peace, to the far and to the near,” says the LORD,
“and I will heal him.
But the wicked are like the tossing sea;
for it cannot be quiet,
and its waters toss up mire and dirt.
There is no peace,” says my God, “for the wicked.”
—Isaiah 57:15-21

————————————

Play time.

So you play the game called LIFE

look, how LIFE plays back unto you.

——————————

If you are broken, you match other brokenness.

——————————

Sigh, you who is no match for me can still win.

———————————–

How can i say i love you,

You wont even show great motivation just to get my attention.

I guess this love is unrequited.

Maybe all you want of me is friendship.

Or you are too busy for your work.

I just want to tell you that, “i want to hug you”, but then I might loose if i said those things.

I’ll loose in a sense of loosing you as a friend.

But then, maybe i never really stand a chance. maybe i’ll just let things be. Hence as for today, i’m contented talking with you even in short form.

NGE Live action

Development of a live-action movie version of Neon Genesis Evangelion was announced in May 2003 by the Houston-based anime distributor ADV Films, who holds worldwide rights to the series outside of Asia and Australia. The film will be made by ADV, Gainax, and Weta Workshop Ltd.. Its release is currently projected to occur at any time ranging from as early as 2009 to as late as 2015. In December 2005, Fortune Magazine reported in an article about ADV Films that it had raised “about half of the $100 million to $120 million” needed to produce the film.^[4] It’s not completely clear if this money was raised by ADV alone or if part of that amount was contributed by Gainax.

As of August 2008, the project is considered to be in “development hell“, as a director has yet to become available or announced officially. In a panel discussion at Tekkoshocon on April 2, 2006 featuring Matt Greenfield and wife Tiffany Grant, many aspects of the project were revealed.^[5] Greenfield recalled that Weta approached ADV about a live-action Eva movie after completing work on The Lord of the Rings film trilogy, but work was delayed by King Kong and The Chronicles of Narnia. It was revealed that three described “A-list” directors and several celebrities had approached the project, rather than the other way around, and the slug script was written by a writer of several other well-known science fiction movies (though this is subject to be rewritten and tailored to the director’s vision). Greenfield also reiterated his belief that they did not want to make the movie for profit, but because they wanted to do it and have it done it right (as with Lord of the Rings), and promised effort toward a trilogy of Evangelion films (as opposed to trying to condense the story into one film and lose vast amounts of material), similar again to the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

At Anime Expo 2008, ADV founders Matt Greenfield and John Ledford, in response to a question over the progress of the live action movie, revealed they had hired the producer for Appleseed Ex Machina, Joseph Chu, and pitched the idea to other producers such as Jerry Bruckheimer and Steven Spielberg.^[6] They went on to say that interest in the project had been boosted by the success of the 2007 film Transformers.^[7]

series depicting the subject:

http://www.hongfire.com/forum/archive/index.php?t-51154.html

BLOGGER’S Comment:

woah this is this is… will this be a chaos? Imagine lord of the rings turning into evangelion? WOAH! a big woah!

To those people doing the job they must make it well goddamnit! The maker of NGE is a genius! DOn’t screw it up!

but then isnt this a great dream, your otaku anime story is turning to be a hollywood movie?

woah woah this is a real asian invasion.

I wish i could make something like that story but then i’m not gifted in making sci-fi  or any mech story, but i can stick my nose on the love story genre.

Kudos to the evangelion mangaka!

HE’s my hero and my idol!

woah! I can feel so related to him err no… i feel like im Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

*ehem*

enough of these kiddy emotions. I wonder if anyone of you can be a good story writer for my mangas?

Woe…

WHat has happen to me lately?

(Well, as usually, nothing mundane for you but shall i say mundane for me.)

A whole day spent at home all alone but contented. I tried to make my life colorful so I sat in front of my computer, surf the web click some links. Reading this and that… okay here’s something to take away the boredom:

——————————————————–

I tried to reflect on the things i want but then again, I caught my self trapped in delusion.

I lost a battle I thought i’m about to win.

Of masters and servants where did i belong?

It may be just a play to be taken seriously, but where is your word?

I said okay let me play the game i started and wanting to quit.

Where is your word my conscience asked.

But where is your morality? It conflicted.

My conscience faced two consequences.

Which is less evil?

It made a loop thinking.

But then my heart answered.

It talked small, but heard by every parts of me.

Okay, I want to be the servant of someone i want to love.

Even if it just hurts me, at least I’d make a move.

Just let me… Just let me make a move.

If I won’t succeed. I won’t blame anyone.

I dunno….

They said that love is doing someone to make someone happy.

even if you’re a boy or a girl, you’ll do what you can. SO there will be no pakipots or

kuripots, just be yourself.

So  therefore when i’m in love i’ll try my best to make him happy.

I was so lonely now, and so i phoned him. *sigh* nothing to do…

It was silent at the phone and i know he can feel how much i love him…

I never changed. Still the same lame person you’ve ever met.

He said we’ll meet. I was just "okay"…

"Call me again this thursday to remind me," he added.

ANd i said, "okay"

Then thursday came, 9:00 pm as he said. I want to call but i nevr did.

Maybe It’s for the reason that i want to test if he’ll call back.

I don’t want to be a crack head, that has tail behind my back.

But i heard no ringing on the telephone…

Maybe he lost my number.

Maybe he’s so busy for his thesis.

yeah that’s it… but then the time has passed. I did not call him.

So is he gonna show up today at the Rendezvous?

That’s a big question right now…

If he can’t take it he’ll try to show up there…

Somehow.

I just cried this useless tears. I hate it. I hate how i can’t stop these emotions.

I’m afraid to blinded by my feelings. Maybe i’m just really selfish. I can’t stand alone.

i just needed someone. I can’t  be like him… so busy, so fully motivated… maybe

there is already this someone that gas him up. or maybe he’s just being so

reasonable… I can tell his thinking is different from other boys. There are totally

a lot of possibilities.

I’m confused. I’m afraid that he will not show up.

If only i called.

I need to talk to him for clarifications… or for personal needs, deeper than you

think…

I want to tell him that he inspires me. He inspired me to become a better person.

Even though we will not end up with each other. I want him to watch me reach my

dreams. Just that, it’s enough.

He’s an important fragment of my past. The first person that taught me  the value of

knowledge, the value of being yourself and maybe the value of love… so that’s why i

want him to know that i cared for him too… but then…

I just don’t know how to repay him.

for being there when i call. yeah he’s there to listen even though i thought he’ll get

tired of hearing me being so whinny.

It’s just i am afraid that he’s all i got right now. after i found out that i never got

enough true friends to take my blues away.

well if he did show up i want to throw him a hug but on the other hand, I will not

whine, I’ll move on and maybe set another date haha. Our friendship does not end so

why would i forget him? Maybe i’ll forget the feeling, but not the person. We’ll be the

same person that cares for each other whatever it takes.

Well to think of it? why does boys and girl keeps deep friendship?

A. for hidden intentions? (a secret lover)

B. for contact reasons (he’s useful or she helps for business)

C. he’s gay

I think those are only the reasons. BOys and girls can never be so close

otherwise, it will show like these:

Gap spaces: (spelling, it symbolizes something)

Not that close                                         So close

Boy  friend                      =                      BoyFriend

Okay.

so when i analyze. he’s my boy friend. and one space to go and he’ll be my boyfriend. It’s so near. haha. so i think we wont have to loose each other. I know he’s aware of this. We’ll end up into something. I hope.

but to remind you i’m not so much into this.

Once i type it all these feelings down. It may loose it’s value.

My feelings will be exposed and be useless someday.

Okay thank u. bow.

here I am again.having episodes.tired,lonely,restless… I have dreams but i feels so uninspired. WHy do i feel this way?

First you have to know the problem:
The problem is… I have not much social life. (i know its sucks so much) I dont know how to make mine alive and kicking… (such a loser)

I’m afraid that I have loosen my interest to mingle with other people again if I was this stuck so much at home… I’m becoming the speechless girl again (highschool years) But i’m mature enough to not repeat the same mistakes as before.

SO i resolve my problems with: making list to make me happy!

Okay these are the things that could make me happy:  (not in chronological order)

1. a song entitled: dream by priscilla ahn

2. Thoughts of my restaurant to put up

3. being a successful advertiser/ graphic artist

4. THoughts of hanging out wih my friends (because they’re really busy now (job) and i am still studying)

5. Having a best true boyfriend {or making him come back for real and make me his true girlfriend for the first time even not on his full time…(impossible)}

6. hobbies

7.God

8. selling my comics - actually i have a lot of stories in my head…
Thinking that each one of them will be a big hit movie! woah!!!

9. selling paintings (but im not that good in painting ill do my best)

10. money for my restaurant

11. i want to be successful so that my parents will be proud of me… (my first priority)

12. Becoming the better person (hey not bitter!)

13. Friends! hope they’ll help me reach my dreams

14. People, contacts, to be successful/

Whoah! I feel so relieved. I really love typing down all these stress. this takes me away from being a mess!

okay so long….

I hope that I will always be cheery again!

Love lots!

— how can i achieve my dreams?

The funny japanese drama, Seikei Beijin has touched my heart and my personality. Thus, I give it 9/10!

I don’t know but I admit that I’m a melancholic girl. I automatically get so emotional when I smell a familiar scent from my past, when I see scenery that reminds me of my memories or when it tells me that I belong there for such unknown reasons. Well this drama brings me belongingness. I don’t know but maybe I hell do love Japanese a lot.

Well back to the drama, I don’t want to give the synopsis of the story but want to tell you why I rate it 9/10. As you can notice, japanese dramas are serious when serious and whacky if whack. To make it clearer, I mean, when they are conversing seriously, they talk like they are citing a poem (somewhat corny to others). Somehow, people who are not that deep won’t understand the hidden meaning and won’t apply it to their lives. The artist playing as Honami named Yonekura Ryoko is extremely funny and beautiful.
The man of her dreams, the flower boy, his attitude reminds me of someone I know and its my crush. Teehee… So i can say that I feel belongingness here.
The plot of the story is expectable but then, it does not complicate the story with longer episodes and it goes straight to the point. You know that they will end up together, but you can’t imagine how they will do it with the humor that the story has.
I admit that after I watch the drama, it inspires me and makes me dream more that someday I’ll reach my dreams too.
So that’s it. It’ the end!

Hope you’ll all have a happy ending— (wtf?? thats sounds awkward haha)

My beloved is dead but i keep on coming back to him.
—————-
Why do i keep on coming back to you.

Last night, I have a dream. You said that you missed me too, more than how i missed you. It gave me a mixed feeling, that makes me float in the sky. But then, as I woke up. I was just sleeping all alone. In this place where we used to have our sweetest conversations. This sofa, makes me bring so close with the so far away you. Where the hell are you?

Well wala akong magawa. wala akong malabasan ng aking mga trash thinking.

alam ko binabasa mo toh… hahahhahae. may hidden account kasa fs ko noh?

ewan just my hunch. or the ultimate feelingera ako.

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