First day cry
June 14, 2007
This is how it goes…
Why did i cry so hard last wednesday? I saw jaypee’s face, he told me some words… "what happened to you’re face? You dont look well" Maybe i dont look that well anymore. I dont look prettier (kelan pa ba?). He said, he expect (that’s what i also expect) me to be prettier, since vacation came and the last time he saw me i was blooming. It sucks, I know but I am captivated by this sort of intimidation. I know his words are not negative. He just cared in someway.
Well so I guess people get what they deserve. I was a bad girl, and i pity myself so much. I may start to look stressed maybe because of being so down, being so affected by the things around me. Why is that? is it because iam being so weak all the time? Am i being so pessimistic too much?
ALong all the people my classmates have met, maybe I’m the one who is hard to understand. Even me, I cant understand my self all the time. I know, I can’t control myself especially my emotions (no not emo stuff sheesh…).
Well, I’ve seen some of my highschool batch mates, some of them are like the ugly duckling who turned into a swan, some of them are pretty who became more prettier. Intimidated by these thoughts, envy kills me. This sucks, I know how to battle these thoughts. Let me just say, "Bawiin nlng sa ugali lahat ng yan." But, I guess I can’t tell if I’m really a good girl?? I want to become one! Even though I dont shine externally let it be my heart to reveal true colors. But how??!
I want to care with all these people especially the one i call my friends. But I’m a little bit frightened, I somehow feel I got few and when I search for them, they seemed to turn me down. Or maybe, I dont appear so friendly and kind to them. I want to appear like that! Maybe all of the people who knows me thinks that I dont care about them! But i actually do!
DEVIL WANTS TO BE AN ANGEL
——– is it possible?
so that’s all i can say..
I wont tell anything about him anymore, like i always do… come on’ NOT ANYMORE
goodnight
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