blue girl bites back

Damn, office hours.

I don’t feel like going inside, a world of responsibility. Late for 30 mins. Finger scan. Unidentified. Maybe for now, maybe for just a couple of weeks. Just let me snooze for awhile. Then after I see my manager’s smile… Wow I have a manager. lols. Gusto ko sanang magserious sa sasabihin ko haha wala lng talagang depth.

Nkakapagod magbyahe araw araw. 2jip, isang bus, 2 jip, damn. pag uwi ganun din. Nakakabugbog. I need a car or a house near my office place. Hays. Kelangan ko magtipid. aun, grabe. Multimedia artist ako, sana naman magimprove skills ko. Sa ngayon, konti lng ang office works. aun, sana naman no, on time ang sweldo hehehe. Natutunan ko ng mag mukang pera ngayon. At ang magpahalaga ng piso. Sayang ang oras, ang lakas at lahat kailangan tipirin, yung tipong pagkurap ng mata mo, kailangan mong laging isipin. LOLS parang lasing lng haha. osya sya.  bangag na ako. papasok pa ako 9-6:00pm office hours. mingle mingle, work work. aun haha. Sana yumaman na ako at magkaroon ng masaganang life. masipag ako, pero sabi nila, daig ng MASINOP ang MASIPAG. eh lagi pa naman akong late. DEDS diba. aun./ Ewan ko, gusto ko minsan gusto ko mamundok gumuhit, magpinta, gumawa ng raket haha, gumawa ng games. aun la lang. sige babay. Sana maging kasundo ko lht ng mga office mate ko. Coz im gonna stay ther for a long taym. mwahs!! so loooonggg….!!!

Being an artist needs to be entrapped on your own world.

Someone says that an artist must not see the real world, for thus he creates his own.

Maybe he has his point. But there are certain fields that tackles about reality just like being a socialist, but in other means, in expressing the art, you need to make an out of this world thing. It must not be mundane, so that you can draw people towards you…

Well maybe for the first time, I’m going to face the fact that me, as an artist should go ahead and take my own path. Thinking of myself and only myself.

It maybe selfishness, but taking as a good form.

I just hope I could get to the right track…

Well there goes. Starting today, I’ll stay at home, start to work on my portfolios. Coz, porfolios, brings you to life.

As for my dramatic title. I will retire, to the real world and isolate for my own good. I will create my own world, more beautiful, so beautiful that people will struggle to get drawn in my world.

Mark my words.

(yey! I learned how to bluff lol. sa ngeon, bluff palang yan pero pagdating ng panahon…)

When will my days be as colorful as the movies, comics and books I’m reading?

Well it was answered since a ragged man came to my life. jk

It’s not that ragged, he says its his style. lol.

We can never get enough of each other. The only problem is that the sun cellular disconnects every 15 seconds. My cellphone is all sweaty and hot from my grip. We really like talking to each other. Yeah nakahanap ka ng kausap lol.

As of now, we have artist dreams. Right now, it seems that money is also an obstacle to our life, we should have been married now. Graduate na ako/ No joke. We love each other that much, well baka sa simula lng yan, pero go on parin we dont helluva care. But I love how we both are financially broke. Eating burgers everyday is really unhealthy plus, the kariman curry can bring a lot of cholesterol. Skyflakes for lunch? WHat the? Joke. No No, I’m not saying any names. I wonder who does those things? Maybe he’s the guy who never really care about society. He don’t care about what’s hot but ofcourse he’s at the same time aware on what’s happening around. He just don’t get that mixed up that much because mainstream is really not a reasonable thing to get into. SO what if people don’t like you. Yeah you can’t please everybody. That guy will say what he likes to say, he may grow a beard all over his face if he like. I don’t know. Is taht cool? Totally introverted.  But then when you talk to him, he’s like gonna answer everything. lol. The truth about this guy is that, he didnt finished college, but has a job. He lives on his own and doesnt ask baon from his family back in palawan. Kaya naghihirap hehe. Mcnut? Pero sabi nila kapag kuripot daw madaling yumaman. wtf. I dont care. When I thnik of the instances, when your inlove, you get blind for love is blind. He promises that If he had enough money everything will be forfeited. Well, I dont need money, mayaman ako hohoho. Joke. I just love you and our conversations honey, It is enough. Pero pagnaghihirap na walang sawang bangayan na yan! lol. Parang drama na sa maalala mo kaya.  Well this is my perception of you. I think somehow I know you more. That’s a good thing. I really like how he does art digitally, the colors are striking and really heartedly. He is gaining money from what he likes to do. Isn’t that cool? But this blog is about this guy that I love, not money. Well, well, I recall a time when I ask him to go with me in my Singles for Christ meeting. Where we supposed to have a painting fund raising project and when my fellow sister read a book about D and goliath and prayers. I looked at him, he seem to have a smoke in his back, Oh he’s burning. lol. He seems to be an agnostic. But I dont care, aslong as he isn’t trying to make me one. We have different belief, but then, if you are gonna choose one. Beliefs or your lover? Lover of course. But then Jesus or your lover? O_O/? pass… But I know God understands me, I even thought that he’s what God has sent for me, A God’s gift. But an agnostic? Well at least not an atheist. I know he’s GG. Why is he a GG? Well he still accepted me even I made a very bad mistake. I’m very thankful. But then he dont pray at night or even thanking God. Is he? I dont care I love him, I’ll just pray for him lol. That doesn’t even matter really. Well, this blog is really for him. I can’t never thank him enough. He’s my sunshine although he looks like a guy from the darkside just kidding. He doesnt look that way. He looks like from f4, no fpoor. Jk honey. Well, btw, we dont have any monthsary. We like to be different. lol. We still havent got money to give gifts for each other. Whaddaya say we are cheap? I dont care. di kami maluho. We are not materialistic. Hani ung pinabibili ko seong prada bag at signature summer dress huh? Pag di mo ko binigyan nyan, bubugbugin kita joke lol. Well, I really enjoy how we are right now. Getting into our colorful artsy fartsy dream. Right now, I’m doing sum comics. And he? Making condom instructions? wtf? Well, sooner or later, I’ll be working on a cubicle. Doing some flash media. I want to take a light jobs first, so that I can still work on more portflios and do what I want to do in my computer reborn! While he, planning to buy his own desktop pc. Gudluck huni.

There goes the adventures of two artist lovers. Broke, happy and has a world of its own!

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I can live on the house with no kitchen with him. I can just live on slum area with him. I can eat nothing and just stare at him. People can throw stone at us, I will throw stones back at them too! The only thing I can’t take is a day without talking or reaching to him.

sweet stuff?

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Well, to the guys who wants to take me away from him? Sorry I have no time for you. (waw feelingera) I’m all his! Kulang nlng lagyan ng label. lol. I’m Erick rabang’s property, says my heart and all the rest of my organs. lol.

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G’nyt.

Have you watch the anime series and the movie or read the manga of detroit metal city?

Just secretly escaping from my work, I enjoyed watched an episode of DMC. It certainly will never fail you to laugh! I assure you that haha. Its a story about a peace loving young boy aspiring to be a pop rock vocalist/guiatrist whatever he’s name. But Instead of having a beatles like band he end up being the frontman of this band DMC! A grunge metal band that sings about RAPERAPERAPE. lol./

basta just search it in mysouju.com ^^

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http://www.aeonity.com/danicake

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mirror

what the hell is self control

Why sometimes it becomes a foreign word

I thought I can make things right

But suddenly It brings me fright

Do you find it odd

that you were not as strong as you once thought?

You knew yourself more than anyone else?

But no.

You act the opposite.

Self control and your self

Suddenly, you never knew that

Suddenly, you never knew what you see in the mirror

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other word for LOATHE

there are people you must hate

in order to love yourself

Even if they beg for mercy or forgiveness

in order to protect yourself,

for they might do it again, second time in a row

So whats the use of forgiveness? (cut)

Maybe, it’s not wrong to hate

but it is wrong to live in misery

If that hate eats you whole, it affects yourself, it brings you suffering

it is misery.

But what happen to forgiveness?

Maybe not now, maybe not now.

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Love is a long gamble

Love is pain

Love is gain

Love can be gain with pain

Love is pain with no gain

Love is gaining pain

Pain is gain is love

Gain is love and pain

Winner takes all,

Lottery

Poker

BUnot bunutan

Sayang barya, pera salapi

cause love

is a gamble

Sayang ang effort, at pagmamahal

bcoz love is a gamble

// If love is a gamble, Gambling is bad, love is bad?//

No! illegal GAMBling is bad, illegal love is bad

So when is love ILLEGAL?

alam mu na di ba?

KAbit, may asawa

when is gambling legal?

lotto,  Pagcor

its just the same, its hard to win

its Bleak

(= . -)

un walang kwentang logic.

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No.

I dont know.

I dont have the answers.

I just want to pray.

I want to do everything. Kht maging katulong nya.

ampota. punyeta. putangina.

bumabalik nanaman sa dating problema.

I have to do something that i have never done before.

In order to break this circle.

I think all I can do is wait.

Have patience.

Pray, act, believe.

Do everything I can to make things right.

hAve faith, ignore this sad feeling.

Because faith is more than a feeling.

I will have faith that everything will be allright once again.

Good night, adieu

As I go to places. I secretly search for the meaning of “Real beauty.”

I am an artist, My business is to CREATE art. And so they say, art is something that pleases the senses. Art is real beauty.

“Art gives us a way to be creative and express ourselves.”

But then, I want the elements of my art to be really beautiful. Not something always about me. When I go painting some figures, unconciously, some artist drew it like themselves. Even if copying other people, they make a similarity with what they drawn. For example, i draw this leg, I did not pay too much attention to it. So I unconciously made it sexy juts like my leg. (lol joke, if vice versa, I unconciously made it unappealing just like my leg) Hope you got my point, i dont want to elaborate on this one.

As I go to different places and meet different people. I can point out which one has real beauty or which one is just a beauty on the surface.

There are places that stink but then, you can see people there have smiles on their faces.

There are places that looks so extravagant but is empty on lonely, people dont mingle, they stay inside on their own.

THere are people that looks perfectly beautiful but they think worse of other people, they like to make fun out of them.

There are people that looks so ugly but then has light heart which can make them fly.

There are ugly people who are ugly in the insides too but it is up to you if you want to help them out. 

 As I can say, looking back unto me, in the mirror. I’m not really that pretty. I may look good in some angles. Wished, that i am really a stunner//* As I walk along, I hear some people talk behind my back that I look like ai ai. (lol atleast a celebrity lol) I just ignore, because I believe that Life is more that what you see in your eyes. Our BODY is not only made up of EYES, eyes, EYES!  Baka GUsto mo MAGING ISANG NAGLALAKAD NA MATA? lol. joke. We have or brain, para mangilatis kung anong claseng tao tlga yan. Like that right? ehem. defensive ako? lol. Bt then, di naman ako naaasar kung panget ako minsan eh. Di naman ako nagseselos if ever na may tao na nagsasabi “waw ang ganda nya blahblahblah” I could say yeah she’s a beautiful too… Pero peropero… NAKAKAINIS ang mga lalake na, nagsasabi na, “WAW ganda ng chiks, sarap ikama blahblah” and a lot of perverted stuffs. =.= bastus haha. ANd noted, yung nagsasabi nun sakin, kala mo gwapong guy, di naman nya marireach ang kagandahan nun lol.

Pero I’m glad im not that pretty, sure hit pag nagkarelationship ako, they will really see right through me kc I’m “MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE” (san yan? 1, 2, 3 …? transformers!)

Yeah right I found someone. He says he loves me daw. Well okay I’m happy Kht ano pa ako lab daw nya aku ahihi. saya no. teka bat nagtatagalog na ako haha. asan na english ability ko lol.

Well, everyone of us is a piece of art.

Kht mukang tae, mukang ****, mukang unggoy, mukang halfmoon pa yan and all that stuffs. MAy sarisariling STYLE eh!

haha.

Love what you are, Love yourself, so that others will learn to love you. Its the same as respect. ayt?

quoted: Aanhin pa ang pretty face kung di ka pinapansin?

Beauty is in the high of the beholder

Kung gwapo ka para sa kanila, sa akin di ka gwapo kc di mo ako pinapansin

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Well i admit sometimes im insecure, but i dont get stuck to that feeling, i reason out just to not stay insecure, right? Coz the truth sets you free.

Well I also forgot, there are some people na mapangasar. They like to see, if anong claseng tao ka. aun un. If you are madaling maasar or just a good person. Or some of them, ayaw nila mabully kaya they become the bully itself. LOL. kaya i can say to them na:  

Shit happens. But shit does not happen to you coz ur the shit itself.

lol. wala naman ako kaaway, nageexplain lng haha.

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Thanks for readin’ i hope ya got something from my rant, my findings, my feelings….

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God bless

Hi and hello ringing bells!

Lately, I met this weird guy. Yeah, you can tell that he is different by his gestures. Well i think he sure fits my attitude. We can live even we just talk. Or even if we just walk. We can be happy even without efforts. That’s what I think. Or maybe there is someone instore for me? I just dont care about it, I just care about the PRESENT>

I dont care if they’ll find him ugly, i dont care if they’ll find him stupid. Aslong as he is always with me, he will be the best man for me.

But then, I hope he’ll be there if I made a wrong move.

He said,”yes”  and therefore there’s nothing to wory about anymore. I’ll just pray to God that everythin’ will all be alright. I’ll be better.

I hope for the best for the both of us.

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I hope I can drag him with God.

Hi dear losers,

lol

What’s up?

Me, I’m just floating around somewhere. Maybe you may see me just as anywhere. Or maybe i’m just at your back? Yeah at the back of your head.

Well what’s the point?

Everything is green, as green as money.

duh! what the hell are ya thinkin boy slut. joke.

Lately, I noticed… I realized.

WHat is a good person?

Well… I just remembered, my sister told me that I think most of the people are good. I think positively of them. I just think that all of the people are the same. The same good, the same have hidden kindness i their hearts and the same will to help everyone. Yeah… Whaddaya call it? U-T-O U-T-O? haha. I remember my classmate sulpicio said something that madali ako mauto. And my father also told me that! damn… what’s up with me?

-_-? do i got any brains at all?

I cant even differentiate who i will deal with or the people that are obviously eating me alive.

WHat’s up with people? AM i an alien LOL.

I’m just an introvert specie.

Lately i was hanging around with a weird looking person.

And my friend said WHOA! that person? Isnt she the mongoloid whatsoever blahblah… LOL.

ANd i was just, oh… “she’s that?” And I come to think that maybe she has the possibility to change or to be a better girl.

I want them to change… my loser friends LOL> or maybe I’m a loser myself too. LOL. Well not most of my friends are weird looking or losers, well i have pretty and well established friends too fyi!

Back to the point, how shall i choose my friends?

Well sorry, I’m not the type of person that chooses the loveable type already. (well they dont choose me, but I can mingle with them huh)

They say that there will be a bonus if you love the unloveable person. O_o well maybe somehow, i see myself in them. Long before i have changed. DUh?! I changed? lol.

Well, after you knew that this person was that person… Should you still stay? Lol. Maybe some of you not. I’ll stay? maybe depending what happened. well,weell/// my english sucks. damn haha.

WHen will i improve lol.

Ask that to your self fool… lol.

Do you think you can just do it yourself? ASk yourself!

DO you think that people like you just because they talk to you?

Do you think that theyre real friends? Just because they were around?

Do you think that he LOVes you just because he is so kind to you? (he’s just courteous)

Do you think that you are doing RIGHT in your life?

DO you think  that you GOT what you deserved?

Do you think that the people you are with are real people? (well he dont seem to look one, but his/her heart say its real, WHOAA look at that. She has bigger heart than yah. Is she an ALIEN?)

Well, if you are really kind and have an OPEN MIND, people will surely stick up to you. Even if you SUCK, even if you look so freaking ugly or even if you smell so much!

Well that’s all folks.

wut? what about my love life? LOL. never mind. It’s just like a booger. It sticks, but it is meant to be thrown away. LOL.

goodnight chaos, goodnight good spirits and good grace.

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Lord please let me sin for awhile?

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i’ll take something to believe
something with long sleeves, cuz it’s unpredictable
that jesus said he’d fill my needs, but my heart still bleeds
he’s just not physical
why can’t i see
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

now we’ve established a lack of sight
maybe vision’s the right word
and what i need, cuz i can’t see with human eyes
lord knows i’ve tried to follow where he leads me

why can’t i see
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

for what i’ve seen so far, i can’t believe my eyes
and what a nice surprise
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know
if i look up and the sky’s not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know

______________________________________________________

or no, this is a false reasoning.

Maybe its time to go back to God.

SAy goodbye to you and the lust. I need to change for my betterment.

It’s only Jesus I find, and Jesus I wish to seek.

SOrry slick, go away. I dont need you anymore.

HAPPY B-DAY TO US> I’m not comming anymore. I need to stay away from you and you luscious body. The drugs you offer and scent that makes my head spin.

I know you’ll be fine without me.

But I want you to know that I’m always missin’ you.

But I’d rather stick to God’s promise:

“BE Strong and of Good Courage;… for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Josh 1:9)

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I know when I trust God, everything’s will be mine. He’ll give a damn about what I want if I first give a damn about him. This is what ya call faith.

try it. I dont know if it works, but in somecases it always do!

I remember this quote i used to know:

Put GOd everything the rest—

Remember the time when you loved someone then you gave all of your love and nothing was left? If you just love God first you would have been left with a love for yourself.

——————————————–aiyt?————

I realize after everything. To speak up with substance, to speak up with content is to say the word of God.

read BIBLE men, its cooler than twilight, harry potter or even your porn magz!

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damn, i cant stay all holy. but atleast I tried.

I cant stay away from you darlin’ I need you.

Everything is useless without LOVE— i just paraphrase something from the bible.

I’m needing you with love, I’m needing you and I ‘m loving you. But you may not want it or you dont want it. It will hurt, wait let me count about 3 tears.
ANd then I dont need you, move on, move on I’m moving out!

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p.s. I still want to sin with you. But I dont want to have my heart broken. I dont want you to go away either. I can sin like you do, but my conscience eats me.

I’m, I’m done with broken hearts and I don’t want to increase the chance for me to go to hell. Hell in life and hell after life is too much ya know.

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Seal with a kiss GOODBYE! for the last time happy birthday!

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one, two, three, one ready go…
you’re up with the sunrise
and down when the work’s been done
with excellence industry
diligence naturally
i would like to be you
just for a few habit-forming years
laziness cuts me like fine cutlery
i need a miracle - someone to help me
myself
sweet jesus, i need you
forgive me this sin
not hookers or heroin, gambling or gin
it sounds so ridiculous, but i just can’t lick this
i need a miracle - someone to help me
myself
someone to help me
help myself

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lyrics by PEdro the lion(search mo sa imeem ganda)

It hurts, everything of me is not enough for them. They cant see my real beauty. BUt how will my life goes? I dont really know at all. Am i trying too hard or everythings not enough? Why does I feewl that people have the different level. WHy cant i reach the same level? I’ll do what it takes, fight monsters, upgrade my weapons, use healing items and go with the party just to reach their level. But why can’t It be as easy as that? In real life inorder to reach them, I need to change my personality (introvert to a social butterfly), change my physical appearance (vicky belos?), upgrade my mind (have some wits). SO how will i do it? I dont know… Efforts, efforts again. I feel like i’m trying so hard. Damn. But yeah i know the answers to my questions. I Just can’t seem to be okay. I’m just like putting my feelings here since i dont want to disturb a lot of people with my insecurities.

I will be an optimist and pray at the same time rather than be a pessimist and pray cause it will not sound good to God.
ciao…]